You & Your Mother in the Birth Chart

✦ Using Astrology to Identify the Relationship with Your Mother ✦

Have you ever wondered what part of your chart indicates the relationship, good & bad, with your mother? I'll be explaining where to look for your mother & how aspects between the planets involved can manifest different relationship dynamics with her!

✦ What planets/houses do I look at to identify my mother? ✦

✦ The Moon

Across all forms of Astrology, the Moon represents our mother figure. In Traditional Astrology, it is particularly important to look at the Moon for your mother if you have a night chart.


✦ Venus

Venus is the planet of love & relationships, so Venus can show how the people around us show us love, which includes our mother. In Traditional Astrology, Venus represents "feminine" figures & also signifies mother-figures in a day chart.


✦ The 4th House - 10th House Axis

Across all forms of Astrology, this axis represents our parental figures. In Traditional Astrology, the 10th House is the mother due to the connotations of purpose & teaching responsibility while the 4th House is the father because the father carries the family name & holds the "root"/ancestry of the family. In Modern Astrology, the axis is flipped to the 4th House being your mother & the 10th House being your father.

Personally, especially in this day/age, determining which House to use for each parent depends on the role your parents play in your life. The nurturing parent, the "home" parent, or the one who holds the family together is most likely the 4th House parent. The disciplinary/authoritative parent is likely the 10th House. I've worked w/ charts where the mother is represented by the 10th House & the father 4th House & vice-versa, so evaluate your chart & see which fits better for you!


✦ The 4th House - 10th House Planetary Rulers

Whichever House you decide to pick for your Mother, the planetary ruler of that House can also describe what kind of relationship you have with them.

For example, my 10th House ruler is Mars & I have an Aquarius Mars in the 8th House. I didn't understand my mother much at all. She was not nurturing (Mars, 8H) & constantly judged me. I have always viewed my mother as loud & aggressive. She also often physically abused me (Mars). My mother also tried very hard to be different (Aquarius). This also indicates my mother's poor health & how it has affected our relationship (8H).

All that aside though, Mommy issues are usually shown through the aspects to the Moon & Venus in your chart.

✦ Moon Aspects & how you perceive your mother ✦

Generally, regardless of the aspect, when another planet contacts the Moon, it creates certain themes. Hard aspects such as the Conjunction, Square, Opposition, & Quincunx usually creates more problems & a harsher outlook on your mother. Soft aspects like the Trine & Sextile help have a better view of your mother, but this is very dependent on the planet involved.

I also want to add that people with a Moon that shares that planet's influence or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is that planet, even without aspecting your Moon, may share some of the influence the aspects make. So for example, if you have a Gemini/Virgo Moon or if Mercury is the ruler of your 4/10th House, the Moon - Mercury aspect interpretation may resonate with you. So make sure you read for all of your aspects + the aspect that shares influence w/ your natal Moon Sign or House ruler!

✦ Sun - Moon Aspects
(also Leo/Cancer Moon)

For Sun-Moon people, the type of aspect changes the view more than other planets. This combination affects your relationship with BOTH parents because the Sun represents our father.

- When the Sun & Moon are making a Conjunction, normally the parents work as a unit & it's hard to separate your opinion of them individually. If you have this conjunction & grew up in a single-parent household or orphanage, the parental figure(s) had to play the role of both mother & father or a single authority figure (especially if Capricorn, Aquarius or Saturn are involved).

- Sun - Moon Opposition natives normally grow up with parents that split up, live separately, or the parents just have extremely different approaches to life & the way they tend to the native. Having this aspect can often make you feel like you are stuck in the middle of their problems.

- A Square between the Sun & Moon usually manifest parents that always conflict & fight with each other. Makes you question why they even got together in the 1st place if they're always fighting. Sometimes, the native feels like they're in the way & are the cause of the family's problems. Since the Sun also represents our goals/desires, natives can also feel that their mother is not proud of them or their accomplishments. If you grew up in a single-parent household, often the "missing" parent is being blocked from being able to have a relationship with you, sometimes even by your present-parent.

- When the Sun & Moon are making a Trine, usually the native was raised in a home where the parent(s) tried to keep the family stable & comfortable. This isn't to say that your mother never caused any problems at all, but often she tends to avoid them & sweeps them under the rug.

- The Sun - Moon Sextile can manifest very similarly to the Trine, but normally, the family is in good standing. Your mother didn't clash with your ego & your home life made you feel relatively secure.

- Sun - Moon Quincunx (inconjunct) natives usually grow up feeling like there's a disconnect in the home. Their parents are normally very different, similar to an opposition, but instead of it causing a clash, it just seems like your parents play very different roles in your life, & that's that. Natives often hardly relate to their mother & have troubles communicating with them outside of the necessary conversations. The relationship is simply uncomfortable.

- Leo Moon natives are often born to very enthusiastic, sunny & a rather dramatic mother. Similar to Moon - Jupiter natives, Leo Moon natives often feel like the trophy child. Their mother seemed to pay a lot of attention to their achievements but not their emotional needs. They often feel like their mothers are self-centered & selfish. With softer aspects or a well-placed Leo Moon, natives will have a loving mother that respects her child's boundaries.

- Cancer Moon natives likely have a deep bond with their mother, regardless of how good or bad it is. Similar to Moon - Mercury, their mothers usually have fluctuating moods. Natives often take on the role of a mother to their mother &/or absorb lots of the mother's energy. In the worst cases, natives take on much of the mother's trauma. They are a source of comfort to their mother, so emotional intelligence & independence is needed.

✦ Moon - Mercury Aspects
(or Mercurial Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Mercury)

Moon - Mercury aspects affect the way you communicate with your mother, the type of language she uses & how you perceive the way she talks to others.

- Soft aspects between Moon & Mercury can make you perceive your mother as communicative, talkative & intelligent (unless the 8H/12H are involved). She may gossip a lot but nothing too crazy. Her mind may seem scattered.

- Moon - Mercury hard aspects can similarly make a very talkative, gossipy mother, but in a way that may annoy you. This could also manifest the opposite, your mother wasn't as communicative as she should've been with you. She is moody & her mind is scattered, like she's forgetful or changes her mind way too often. She may also seem very irrational.

✦ Moon - Venus Aspects
(or Venusian Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Venus)

This set of aspects affect the way you feel she gives/receives love in the home & how cooperative she is with you.

- Soft Moon - Venus aspect (or conjunction) natives usually have loving mothers. Sometimes, especially with the Trine, the mother is overly compromising, passive & doesn't deal with pressure well. She may overfeed & overcompensate in attempts to make sure that you have everything you want/need (unless 8H, 12H, Martian or Saturnian energy is involved. If so, this may show up more like the hard aspects). Moon - Venus' mother is often popular & beautiful.

- Harsh aspects between Moon - Venus cause the native to have a relationship with their mother where they felt unloved/abandoned. The mother was needy for her own affection & neglected to give love to the native. She probably prioritized her relationship with others, often to the father or other romantic partners. Natives also often feel like their mother had nothing to offer other than criticism. Those who identify/are perceived as a woman probably often deal with a seemingly jealous mother, where she projects her insecurities & guilt on you.

✦ Moon - Mars Aspects
(or Martian Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Mars)

Regardless of the aspects, people with Moon - Mars normally deal with un-comfortability & conflict in the home. Natives often absorb their mother's negative energy.

- Soft aspects between Moon & Mars normally deal with a "touchy", demanding, overprotective mother. She is probably very assertive & extremely concerned about your safety. Sometimes this behavior can seem like a lot & you feel like she is doing too much, but she is always there when you need her to be which is important.

- Moon-Mars natives with hard aspects normally grow up with an explosive, argumentative mother, always feeling at war with her. She always seems to pick fights with people in the home, making it feel like an unsafe environment. Sometimes she can become physically responsive, resorting to hitting you as a child or others in the home or throwing objects when she's upset. Natives expect conflict every time they come in contact with her. She may also be overly protective, but in all the wrong areas, stunting your growth & ability to do certain things.

✦ Moon - Jupiter Aspects
(or Jupitarian Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Jupiter)

When the Moon aspects Jupiter, it exaggerates the Moon's functions, including your mother. This can show up as overly nurturing or overly dramatic.

- Soft Moon-Jupiter aspects can make native's mother very spiritual, loving & compassionate. She can also be very overprotective, but different from Moon - Mars. She may coddle them & create a very codependent relationship, instead of cultivating individuality within the native as a child.

- Hard Moon - Jupiter natives are normally born to dramatic mothers who are greedy & never met their needs. Usually, the mom was there physically but not in any other way. She often exaggerates her own feelings & makes it seem as though she loves you so much but never lives up to that image. You may also be used as a "trophy child", something to brag about to her friends, even though she is hardly involved in your accomplishments. Moon - Jupiter natives end up becoming the Mom to everyone that they never had themselves.

✦ Moon - Saturn Aspects
(or Saturnian Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Saturn)

When a planet aspects Saturn, it creates a lack from that planet. In this case, it would be the mother & emotional needs. The type of aspect can dictate how harshly this shows up. Regardless of the aspect though, Moon - Saturn natives usually feel trapped; the mother burdening the child with too many responsibilities & stunting the development of a good emotional &/or mental space. They learn everything on their own & normally those with this aspect are the oldest child.

- With the soft aspects, native's mother is normally physically present but not in any other way. She may be a single parent, bogged down with work & puts business matters above emotionally tending to the family. The relationship may not be terrible, but you felt like you had to raise the family yourself as a child.

- Moon - Saturn natives with hard aspects, similarly to the soft aspects, may never have had their mother at home due to prioritization of work/business life. Natives can probably never recall a good/fun memory of their mother, because she didn't utilize her time to spend with them, or she literally never had the time. Hard Moon - Saturn aspects can create a loss of the mother all together, she was never home, you avoided seeing her, you lived with your father, or worst case scenario, she passed at a young age. For those who often avoided their mother, they did because she only criticized them & expected too much. Often too, she just wasn't pleasant to be around, so in order to protect themselves, they stayed away.

✦ Moon - Uranus Aspects
(or Aquarius Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Aquarius)

Uranus Aspects normally create shock factors & a need for some kind of space. When it touches the Moon, it affects the relationship with your mother & your emotions. Moon - Uranus people, like Moon - Saturn, normally have to raise themselves, but with Uranus, they grow up too fast, never feeling secure or grounded, usually from moving around a lot or having lots of family shake-ups. They usually didn't receive nurturing from their mother & ends up living a life where they refuse help & guidance.

- Soft Moon - Uranus aspect natives usually have a mildly unconventional mother that may seem embarrassing. She may present an odd style/persona or is from a different culture that may come off as weird to you or others around you. There may be inconsistencies with receiving love, care & nurturance from their mothers; sometimes she was there to help & other times she brushed them off.

- Moon - Uranus hard aspects often deal with the unconventional mother similar to the soft aspects, but she may seem wildly different from natives, or the opposite, they are very different from their mother. Instead of inconsistencies with the loving side of the mother, the hard aspects were constantly rejected by her. She just never seemed to want to give them time/energy. Natives feel as though she alienated them from the family. Sometimes, people with this aspect were hit with some kind of shock at a young age that affected the relationship with their mother. This can show up as a health issue or a family death, for example.

✦ Moon - Neptune Aspects
(or Pisces Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Pisces)

Neptune Aspects normally create a distant mother that isn't emotionally stable & often plays the victim (or actually is a victim). In a way, Moon - Neptune natives relate to their mother or try to give them grace, but still feels betrayed by them & end up caring for others.

- Softly aspected Moon - Neptune natives are often born to a mother that is ethereal, beautiful & something of an artist or medium. You often feel sorry for your mother & the things she went through, or you have seen some of the things she has been through & seek to care for her. May also idealize the mother, believing that she is something she is not or give her too much grace, leaving natives feeling betrayed when she messes up. You may struggle to understand who she is.

- Moon - Neptune natives with harsh aspects may relate to having a beautiful, artistic/mystical/psychic/occult mother but she seemed to always have been missing. Whenever she was around, lack of boundaries around her may have created a somewhat parasitical relationship. She probably used you as trauma dump, projected her insecurities, or used you to satisfy her emotional needs. This results in natives absorbing all of her negative energy. Outlets are needed for this aspect to get rid of all the absorbed emotions.

✦ Moon - Pluto Aspects
(or Scorpio Moon or when the ruler of your 4/10th House is Scorpio)

Moon - Pluto natives come from a long cycle of familial trauma & they are the ones who end up having to hold the burden of the generational problems. Their mother is usually obsessive, demanding, controlling, overwhelming & oftentimes manipulative.

- Soft aspects between Moon & Pluto can manifest an extremely protective, bordering invasive mother. She may have difficulties that burden the family in some way. Natives may subconsciously carry their mother's wounds.

- Hard aspects between Moon & Pluto may suffer the same issues as the softer side but the invasiveness & inability to have privacy may seem so extreme that home doesn't feel safe at all. A lot of the unsafe feelings also come from absorbing the mother's anger, jealousy & pain, or she projects it onto the natives. Or often, their mother holds some deep dark secret(s) that makes them feel uncomfortable. In some cases, the mother makes the natives feel like they are the cause of the family issues, or the native is the exposer of the family secrets.

✦ Moon - Chiron Aspects
(or Cancer Chiron or when Chiron is in the 4/10th House)

Moon - Chiron natives usually have mother issues of varying degrees:

- Their mother is the cause of whatever trauma the natives have (look at the sign/house of Chiron to pinpoint that trauma)

- They end up taking on the mother's trauma (very common, especially for watery Moons) or she projects her trauma on them.

- They have to care for the mother in some way & feel tied to them. This could be that she isn't working & you need to financially care for her, or she has a health issue that you need to tend to. You may be the elected person to care for her, stunting your ability to live the life you'd want to.

~ Sources ~

- Aspects in Astrology by Sue Tompkins is my FAVORITE Astrology book & I've practically memorized everything & have formulated my own interpretations by chart work & experience.

- Parkers' Astrology: The Definitive Guide to Using Astrology in Every Aspect of Your Life by Derek & Julia Parker

- Chiron: Healing Body & Soul by Martin Lass

- Chart work/readings/studies & personal experience